Sunday, September 27, 2009

Fall Blues

Fall has come and so it seems I’m going through a weird time, one of indecision and uncertainty, with vague aches and pains, migraine headaches and a stuff body that is refusing to move as I direct it. Why? Well to be frank – I don’t know nor do I understand it.

This time of uncertainly is not the first such episode of my life, and does seem to come more often in the fall than any other time of the year. The first visit occurred in the fall of 1966 and I remember it well. I was in the 7th grade. Me and a friend of mine were walking around Chesapeake Junior High at lunch – that’s what we did, we ate and then because we thought we were too old to play on the monkey bars or giant stride, we walked around the building until the bell rang sending us to our afternoon classes. I vividly recall my emotions (I hesitate to refer to them as thoughts, they just seemed to out of control to be that) as they twirled and swirled around inside me; emotions of indecision and uncertainty, of longing for something (maybe love?) and stability; something that I could grasp onto and make some kind of sense of for my life. I remember thinking would things ever really be different?

As we walked the topic turned to children and a longing so strong rose up in me. I could actually feel the weight of my child in my arms and that sweet smell of baby whiffed up into my nose and my senses. I felt, what I thought had to be, perfect love. As that thought passed another replaced it, in my mind’s eye there was me and I was surrounded by 5 or 6 of the blackest children I had ever laid my eyes on ranging in age from about 2 to 4 years. In my arms I cradled a black baby, perfectly soft, perfectly created and sleeping restfully. This vision was quite a shock to me, since I was totally surrounded by white. The town was white, the school - white, everybody there was white, so much so that when in the 8th grade a student enrolled that was from Puerto Rico he became an instant hit not because he had such a winning personality but because he was a novelty. As this picture began to fade, and while I didn’t have a strong understanding of the word, I clearly heard “missions” spoken to me. At that point I knew I was being called to something beyond myself and my current understanding.

This event so impacted my being that to this day I can describe to you how my hair was styled and exactly what I was wearing. But, I didn’t tell a soul. Never once in the following 30 years did I tell anyone about this event! At the age of 12 I simply did not have a frame of reference to explain the vision (and yes it was a vision, I’m certain of that) or to explain how I clearly heard the one word directive. I couldn’t even speak it in my thoughts that God had spoken to me, how was I going to explain it to anyone else?

So I filed the memory away, got past what I eventually came to call my fall blues and began living a life of my own choosing.

Falls came and went with varying stages of the blues and occasionally the memory of that vision in 1966 would be brought back to me, but as the years passed less frequently until eventually it had almost completely faded from my memory. And I had changed, my life had changed. I had two wonderful children that were the center of my world and my focus was on them until one day in the fall of 2002 it dawned on me that I was alone, with one adult child living in Texas and the other in Germany. I realized I was thoroughly dissatisfied with my life and decided I needed a change. So, God opened a door and I moved to the unlikely place of Cincinnati, OH. Wonderfully, my daughter, in Germany decided to join me so immediately my satisfaction level raised about 1000%!

Once here, I still had my “fall blues,” and after about 4 years God brought back to me that vision of so many falls ago, and along with that memory a new vision. In this one, I’m standing on a small knoll covered in dirt that is similar to red Georgia clay. It is hot and I’m dressed in some sort of wrap around multi colored skirt and t-shirt, I’m thinner than I am now and my hair is blowing gently in a small breeze, the sun so bright I have one hand over my eyes to shade them, my body tanned and my cheeks highlighted in red from a slight sunburn, and there are three beautiful black children clinging to the hem of my shirt while I hold a black toddler on my hip. I hear the word “missions” again, but this time it reverberates through my being and hits my heart with the heat of the tropics. I also hear two years and assume that I have two years to ready myself for this calling.

In those two years I complete studies at the Vineyard Leadership Institute and wait with anticipation for God to “reveal” to me His plan once I graduate. Graduation comes and goes, but I hear nothing. The summer after graduation comes and goes, still I hear nothing. So here I am, it’s the fall – the time of the year that is always the most difficult for me emotionally and I feel like I’m struggling to just get through each day. My body hurts, both shoulders stiff with limited range of motion, migraines that I have not really suffered with for many years have reappeared and are with me almost on a daily basis, I’m suffering pain in my left hip and in the lumbar region of my spine, and even with exercise my weight is not budging down even one pound. I’m a mess, but have decided to speak life and not death into the situation so am prodding on the best I can and trying not to complain.

I am praying for God’s leadership and direction. I am praying for healing and restoration and for the will and ability to make life changes that will impact my body weight and overall health. Praying for patience that I not jump ahead, but wait to hear from the One that does know what is best and will direct my path. Oh, I forgot to mention, when God brought that second vision to me, I asked Him, “How, how now at this old age and this current level of physical ability (or disability); with these health issues?” His answer was Joel 2:25 “Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust have eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, my great army which I sent among you.” Wow, those locusts really do sound like so many aspects of my past, at my choosing I allowed them to swarm, creep, and strip and gnaw away at me – but God has promised restoration! I don't know what the future holds, or how God will use me but that's okay. These fall blues will pass and He will guide my path in His time and not mine.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sept. 25, 2009 Muslim Day of Prayer

Yesterday, on Sept. 25, 2009,fourteen days after the anniversary of 9/11 tens of thousands of Muslims planned to pray for the “soul of America” in mosques and outside the U.S. Capitol. I didn’t watch the news so don’t know what if any coverage the event received from that media – but really didn’t find much coverage of the event on the internet this morning either. So, I don’t know anything at this point regarding the turnout.


But many of the responses I have read prior to the event were comments along the lines of; a group of people praying to a demon god or praying to a non-existent god. I have been taught since I was a child that the god Muslim’s pray to is not the god of Abraham, even though they believe that he is. Now, these type of statements make me truly shiver and I’m not always sure exactly why.


Why is it that as Christians we can recognize the God of the Jews as God and that they just have it wrong in regards to Jesus and we can’t recognize the god of the Muslims along these same lines? Is it just because of the Koran? Then what of the Jewish Talmud? Is it because we believe Islam has rewritten the books of the Old Testament in such a way that they don’t match up to the Torah (if my understanding is correct, Isaac is replaced by Ishmael in the story of Mt. Moriah as one case in point)?


Why do I shiver? I think I shiver, not because I am appalled of what is being said, or that it isn’t truth, or that I believe it was Ishmael and not Isaac. I think I shiver because I hear fear in the words; fear of satan and of satan’s dominions. We are afraid of the capacity of this group of people to do evil and to harm us. We are afraid of their holy jihad. I don’t believe that it is unreasonable that we fear – 9/11 taught us that.


But is that fear controlling our thoughts, reactions, words? If we are soaked in fear how do we take up the “Great Commission” and approach these lost souls? How well they ever hear our witness when we stay locked in our fear and while never speaking directly to them continue to call their god a demon or non-existent in our writing? I believe that God’s heart is that they come to Him through Jesus and that Jesus is the bridge of understanding between the two of us.


As with a good majority of Christians, Muslims believe what they are taught and are not reading the books of their faith anymore than many of us read our Bibles. They are taught that Jesus was a prophet; that it is He who will usher in the end of the world (that He will return) as a prophet – just not as the Son of God. The book of John for the Muslim is the Injel. The same book of John where we can find what Jesus said of Himself. That He alone is “the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)


I’m not saying that the bridge is going to be easy to walk across. I’m just saying that I don’t think I have chance of being heard by my Muslim brothers and sisters, of presenting to them what one of their books (the Injel) has to say on the topic of Christ if my fear is turning my heart to use words that are going to push them harder away from me, to want them either gone entirely or to turn them into what I see as a good American, instead of having a heart that desires they come into the family of God and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. He is the only way to the Father.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

That label is so loud, I can't hear what you are saying!

I got up this morning and began my usual morning routine of breakfast at the computer. You see, I go to the web for news of world and to Facebook for news of my friends. I especially love Facebook even with all it’s unnecessary clutter (nope not really interested in your Mafia status) as it helps keep me up to date on people that I would be totally out of touch with. I get to see pictures of family I’ve never met and on occasion read a comment from the heart that opens my understanding of who they are and what’s truly important to them. I find this freaking amazing!

I also like a good debate. If I listen, really listen, a well articulated viewpoint stretches my thought process, pulls out questions I’d never considered and allows me to know the things about my friend that are important to them. I gain a better understanding of the life they live, how they process information and think through problems based on that particular filter. If I listen to everything they are communicating it gives me a road map to the care and perseverance of a friend. In other words it can bring me beyond myself, outside of my view, outside of my filter and open up a whole world of understanding. Debate for me is not necessarily about swaying but understanding the other’s viewpoint. It’s about learning about one another those things that make us who we are – the things about each other that make us unique!

What I don’t get is the nastiness that can come through a difference of opinion; the name calling, the mud slinging and just the plain ugliness that spews forth. It saddens me that if we the nation, exercise our rights under the constitution that we are labeled as “Nazis,” “unpatriotic,” “bitter clinger,” “evil monger,” “angry mobster,” or a “mob.” By the same token these same people that are being so labeled come carrying signs stating “A village in Kenya is missing their Idiot.” wearing t-shirts with a picture of a white faced black eyed Obama labeled as “joke,” or one with “Chairman Maobama,” logo across the front. Or by someone thinking it’s okay to call anyone hypocrite because they believe that Michael Vic should not be allowed to play professional sports again due to his dog cruelty conviction because after all Sarah Palin reportedly shoots wolfs from a helicopter and calls that sport.

What I’m saying is I believe our views are lost, deeply buried, in the meanness of our response when we react in these manners, with these types of words and actions.

As it states in Romans 13:1-3, I believe that there is no authority except from God and that our leaders are placed by His hand. That we are to submit to this authority, and protest against it, in such a fashion that honors God, and shows respect to everyone (1 Peter 13:17) and Titus 3:1 states; “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe with all my heart that each and everyone has the right to a viewpoint, an opinion that is different from mine. If you think differently than me it does not make you evil, it does not give me the right to name call or sling mud at you, it does not make you stupid or ignorant, it does not make you a hypocrite, it does not turn you into a Nazi, it is not a sign that you are unpatriotic or that you don’t care about the “working poor,” nor does it give me the right to hit you with racial or ethnic slurs.

As a Christian I am called to pray for my leaders. “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone – for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved to come to a knowledge of the Truth.” (1 Tim. 1-4) Now, I don’t believe that this is a call to stick my head in the sand and ignore the “issues” of the day or to not speak out; but what if while I’m speaking out my goal is to be a representative of God and to show His love? I don’t know about you, but pray changes the condition of my heart; it makes it impossible for me to hold hatred toward a person or their view when I’m on my knees in prayer for them.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Can our prayers change God's mind?

Last night at my Monday small group meeting this question was thrown out; “Can our prayers actually change God’s mind?” My answer basically, “I have no understanding of things that are not understandable.” While this answer brought a “chuckle” to the group (even to me it sounded much like Orwell’s double talk/double think process) it is still my stand on this and most any topic concerning God. I simply do not have the intellect, the ability, the brains, whatever you want to call it to comprehend the awesomeness of the Sovereign Lord God Almighty!

According to Robert B. Chisholm, Jr. Department Chair and Professor of Old Testament at Dallas Theological Seminary, “It depends. In the Old Testament not all statements of intention are the same, some are decrees or oaths that are unconditional and bind the speaker to a stated course of action. Others, which may be labeled announcements, retain a conditional element and do not necessarily bind the speaker to a stated course of action) Now to me that really sounds more along the lines of the explanation of a covenant than the answer to the question of whether or not God changes His mind, even though Dr. Chisholm makes many points which he richly substantiates with scripture references. .” (Does God “Change His Mind?” http://faculty.gordon.edu/hu/bi/ted_hildebrandt/otesources/02-exodus/Text/Articles/Chisholm-ChangeMind-BSac.pdf

Beneath the Cross states in their article Does Prayer Change God’s Mind? “There are two primary views of prayer in Christianity. One is that God uses prayer as one avenue to bring about his sovereign purposes in the world. The other is that man uses prayer as an instrument to bring about his will in heaven and on earth.” Okay, I’m not a theologian but the previous sentences seem a little over simplified. Further, “Open Theism is the theology that God does not know the future and he is, therefore, “open” in his relationships and dealings with people. Because of this belief, Open Theists claim that prayer can change God’s mind. Greg Boyd, one of the spearheads of Open Theism, says that this view of prayer helps God decide or change his mind, since he does not know everything. E.M. Bounds, the 19th Century Methodist minister, wrote, “Prayer affects God more powerfully than His own purposes. God’s will, words and purposes are all subject to review when the mighty potencies of prayer come in. How mighty prayer is with God may be seen as he readily sets aside His own fixed and declared purposes in answer to prayer” (the author’s emphasis). http://jamespruch.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/does-prayer-change-gods-mind/ Again, not a theologian, but aren’t the statements “God does not know the future” and “Prayer effects God more powerfully than his own purposes” well, just wrong?

Numbers 23:19 (NASB) states “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?” Yet Jonah 3:10 states, “When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.” (TNIV)
So which is it? I say again, “I have no understanding of things that are not understandable;” but I can see a pattern when I read scripture. A pattern of religious ritual in an attempt to earn God’s favor and to manipulate Him by man’s own actions into doing the things that man desired. Following God’s decrees just enough to look good, to appear obedient to the world, just enough to maybe say: “God you owe me, I’m your chosen people and I’m keeping your law, burning incense toYou and sacrificing burnt offerings on Your altar. See I’m doing my part, now You do Yours!”

I believe these, man’s self serving actions, are dealt with in Jeremiah 6:19-20, 7:21 and Amos 5:21-26 which states, "I hate, I despise your religious festivals; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream! Did you bring me sacrifices or offering forty years in the wilderness, house of Israel? You have lifted up the shrine of your king, the pedestal of your idols, the star of your god, which you made for yourselves.”

Maybe it's the condition of the heart? When the Lord is informing Moses of His plans to destroy Israel, Moses’ concern was not for himself or to make himself look good in the eyes of man or even to be exalted by God! Moses heart, his concern was for the Lord and the Lord’s reputation. Exodus 32:9-14 reads, "I have seen these people," the LORD said to Moses, "and they are a stiff-necked people. Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you into a great nation.” (My emphasis) But Moses sought the favor of the LORD his God. "LORD," he said, "why should your anger burn against your people, whom you brought out of Egypt with great power and a mighty hand? Why should the Egyptians say, 'It was with evil intent that he brought them out, to kill them in the mountains and to wipe them off the face of the earth'? Turn from your fierce anger; relent and do not bring disaster on your people. Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac and Israel, to whom you swore by your own self: 'I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and I will give your descendants all this land I promised them, and it will be their inheritance forever.' "Then the LORD relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.”

Jesus, our perfect example, who lived a rich prayer life as detailed throughout the gospels, not only instructed us regarding how to pray, but reminded us in Matthew 6:8b that “your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” These words of Jesus re-confirm for me the sovereignty of God. That He does have foreknowledge of all things, that His nature is to be concerned for and aware of our needs and is the best argument for me against many of the statements of Open Theism.

The Bible tells me that God is pleased with the prayers of my heart! Psalm 141:2 tells us that our prayers are incense to God and the lifting up hands is like the evening sacrifice. And, that while the Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked, the prayer of the upright pleases Him (Proverbs 15:8).

So, no I can’t tell you with total certainty that prayers will change the mind of the God; what I can tell you is that my plan is to seek His will and His heart as much as I humanly can and when it’s beyond my human ability I plan to ask Him to bring me closer to Him outside of that ability. Through pray I’m going to worship Him, seek His guidance and continue to make petition to Him. James 4:2 says, “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”

But my friend Kevin, I think said it best last night. It’s like dealing with toddlers. We usually have a plan for what we are and are not going to give them, but sometimes just because we love them so much they ask for more and our hearts open and we relent, and give them sometime good. Isn’t that what Jesus was talking about when He asked, if your son asks for a fish will you give him a snake instead? (Luke 11)